How Hypnobirthing helped me through my hospital stay:
Recently I was admitted to hospital with severe headaches and vomiting. Now one of those alone is enough for any mum of two to deal with so needless to say, it was intense. I had attended my GP that morning and, in her words, ‘your constellation of symptoms don’t add up’. I had a suspicion that something wasn’t ‘normal’ but admittedly it did not settle me when I heard it being said by a professional! I was sent to A&E for a CT scan and bloods to be done.
I was in A&E for a couple of hours with my head in my hands to alleviate some of the pressure. My head felt like it was going to explode and all I could think was, I hope I’m not here for long because I have to get the kids at 4:30! Alas the universe had other plans for me and an admission to hospital was put in place along with an isolation protocol.
There were a lot of diagnosis bouncing around; viral meningitis, bacterial meningitis, a reactivation of the chickenpox virus (I had it when I was little) and the crowning glory, encephalitis.
So, to rule out/confirm some of these diagnoses I had to have a Lumbar Puncture done. If you don’t already know, a lumbar puncture is where they numb the area around the base of our spine and insert a needle in between your vertebrae. This is to extract spinal fluid and send it for testing.
For this procedure there was a lot of deep breathing. I was conscious but not allowed to move for the entire time so, I closed my eyes and focused solely on my breath. On each breath I would simply repeated to myself ‘in….out’ and map it onto my breathing. I did not think about anything that was going on, I just focused. The procedure lasted roughly 10-15mins but it felt less as I was only thinking and focusing on breathing.
I was admitted to the ward with an isolation policy so I was in a room by myself. I could not leave, not to go to the toilet or shower. I was also not allowed open the door as there was query to the virus being air borne. This led to a lot of alone time. Staff were so busy that I went a full day without seeing or talking to anyone.
During this time, I used affirmations and gratitude, a lot. I continually said to myself ‘I am in the right place, I will get better, I will be fine’. This helped keep me in the moment and not slip into an unhelpful cycle of thoughts. I used gratitude to mitigate feelings of frustration towards myself and the staff. I was grateful to live so close to the hospital that my husband could see me and I knew my children were close by. I was grateful to have access to medicine and technology that could help diagnose me. I was grateful that my children were safe and at home, although I missed them greatly as it had been a week since I saw/hugged them. I was grateful that I felt better than my diagnosis suggested I was. Gratitude helped me shift away from unhelpful thinking that would inevitably make me feel worse.
Visualisation. I had to go for an MRI scan, which Iv never done before so I used my breath. I breathed as it was the MRI was explained but admittedly, I became VERY anxious. The breathing mitigated the situation but it did not get rid of the pounding heart and sick feeling. When I was in the machine, I visualised my two sons. My eldest does this ‘bit’ where he stands in the doorway and announces his brother “ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls it’s….Callum” and then Callum will wander out not knowing what’s going on! I played this scene over and over in my head because it makes me smile! Throughout the MRI scan I used the noises I could hear to make other scenes. One sound was very similar to the Ms. Pacman game so I visualised that game and imagined I was playing it. In no time at all I was done with the scan and returned to the real world.
Inevitably the one tool that was used over and over again was breathing. Whenever I saw a Dr. come into the room I would immediately start to take longer, slower, more deliberate and focused breaths. Remember I did not have anyone there to hear this information for me so I had to be alert and hear what they had to say. If I panicked, I would only hear 5% of the information and wouldn’t know the full picture. This allowed me to listen and hear what was being said and I could in turn challenge and question the information, which I did. When I didn’t understand something, I got them to repeat it and clarify. Breathing allowed me to think in the moment and digest the information before they left, which is usually 3minutes after they enter your room!
The combination of all of these, along with deliberately taking a positive mindset, helped me immensely. I was not positive all the time, I cried and got frustrated, I am human after all. I allowed space for the sadness and uncertainty but in the end, I knew this would not serve me. I practiced what I preach. I stayed calm (as much as was possible!), I asked questions to help me better understand my situation and I challenged the medical plan as the original one did not sit well with me at all. All this led to a discharge 5days after admission with a prescription and follow up MRI.
Diagnosis still not confirmed, in the words of the Consultant “what’s on paper does not match what I’m looking at, you’re a strange presentation”. I decided to take that as a compliment!
So you see, hypnobirthing techniques are not just for labour, they are a lifetime skill to be added to the toolbox. Your mindset can determine a lot so to train it to serve you.
